


An Almost Death

by daniel_howell_exe



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Gen, London, One Shot, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicide Attempt, YouTube, YouTuber Dan Howell, YouTuber Phil Lester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-07-15 20:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16070255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daniel_howell_exe/pseuds/daniel_howell_exe
Summary: Ivy Hox, a college student who is studying abroad in London,  starts her morning as usual until she is faced with a decision of life or death. What will she do?





	1. Chapter 1

The sound of my alarm goes off...7:30 the clock blinks at me

I groan and smash the snooze button. I lie in bed waiting for my eyes to focus. I turn my head to see the grey skies covering the city of London.

_Well, its another day in the great city of London and I have class at 9:30. Time to grind... I guess_

I woke up with depression hanging over my head. Which has been most of my days ever since I moved into London. It's not that I hate the city, on the contrary, I LOVE it. I love the history and culture it has. But I also love it since its where my two favorite idols live, Dan and Phil. Judge me if you want, I am a 21 year old who loves two British YouTubers and draws them nonstop; there is nothing wrong about that. Anyways, I lifted my heavy body off my cozy bed and went to the bathroom to get ready for class.

(Fastfoward to an hour later)

I grabbed my book bag, phone and keys and headed out my apartment door. I locked it and went off to start my day. Once I exited the main lobby, I get hit with a cold breeze and I let out a little smile. This was a sign of peak autumn weather and I love it.

_Today's going to be a great day, I just know it is._

Luckily, my college is 6 blocks away from my apartment, and on my route there, I always walk on a long bridge. The bridge provides a lovely view of the city and it is a great way to start the morning. Right before I walked onto the bridge, I stopped by into Starbucks and grabbed a pumpkin spice latte. With latte in hand and crisp breeze in the air, it seemed like a beautiful day despite the fact that I woke up with my depression right off the bat. I started to walk on the bridge when right up ahead I see a man just standing there. He seemed a bit dazed and lost. My anxiety started to creep up on me. I took a deep breath.

_Ivy, you're overreacting. Maybe he is one of those people who just like to stand there and admire the view. Back in New York, things like this happen a lot. So just keep walking._

As I walked closer to the man, my phone beeped. There was a bench nearby and I sat down to check. I didn't want to be that person who blocks the sidewalk for the other people walking just to check their phone. It was an email from my professor.

_'Dear students,_

_I am very sorry for such short notice but I have to cancel class today due to an unexpected emergency. Today's lesson will be taught next week, until then please read the following 4 chapters in your textbooks in preparation for the next lesson. Please don't be afraid to email me with any concerns you have._

_Professor Odell'_

_Great, that was the only class I had today. So what do I do now? I mean now I have more time to finish a piece that I have been meaning to finish for some time._

I continued to sit there, admiring the view.

"I'm going to do it."

I turned my head to the voice that said that, it was the man who is near the edge of the bridge. A little too near for my comfort. He was very tall, I only realized that when I actually got a good look of him. His black coat made him look menacing, however his face reflected something completely different. For some reason, I feel a sense of familiarity with him. He lifted his leg over the ledge of the bridge and I ran towards him and grabbed his arm to get him away from the ledge.

"Hey, what do you think you are doing?!"

"I'm going to jump. There's no point in living anymore. I'm almost 45 years old and my life has been a literal joke to so many people."

"Listen, I don't know who you are nor your life, but I can say that you are important. And-"

"Stop trying! I have made up my mind and I want to jump. Please let me jump." He grabbed my arm and started to pull away from me. I pulled back harder.

"No, I am not letting you jump. You can't just throw your life away like that!"

"Yes, I can! You just don't understand! I don't matter! Life is just better without a useless human being like me! After years of creating content for millions to see, what more do I have to offer?! I am old and not how I used to be 20 years ago."

"No, you are wrong! Life isn't better without you... I don't know what your current job is but if you have been making content for so many years don't you think whatever you make now people will love it? Sure, you have aged and that is not in your control but what is in your control it the ideas your create and the content you put out! If people have been following your work for so long, they must be some dedicated followers who will love anything you do. To those die hard followers, you are the world to them. Not only to your followers but to the people in your life. Haven't you ever thought about how devastated your family and friends would be to find out that the person they loved dearly had ended their life? You are loved by many even though you may not realize it, so please trust me when I say you will be missed because I know there's people who care about you."

He slowly stopped fighting back and brought his leg down. His eyes were focused on the water below. We stood in silence for a bit and I was hoping that I actually got through to him. It took him a couple of minutes for him to speak to me

"I-I know that there's many people who care. I am reminded of it all the time by them. But in the last couple of years, I've been reaching a point where I don't know what else to do because it seems like everything else has been done. And it seems like my career is about to come to an end." He turns around and leans against the ledge and I do the same.

"Trust me, everything else has been done, but they haven't been done your way right? You see we love to see new stuff but of course that's hard to do but if you take something that has been done and form it to your own liking, it can be seen as new again. And you decide when your career is over not everybody else. Everything will be alright. How are you feeling?"

He lets out a sigh and replies "A bit better but I feel a bit shaken up and it might take me some time to fully recover. But I don't want to bother you anymore. Thank you for... well saving my life."

"No need to thank me, I was just doing what I thought was right. And you aren't bothering me whatsoever. I was going to my class but they canceled it so if you want I can stay with you until you feel better."

"Thank you but I might need something else from you."

\------------------------------------------------------

_**Part 2 out of 3 coming soon...** _


	2. Chapter 2

“I need your phone, you see I left my phone and keys in my flat and I don’t really remember how I got here. May I use your phone so that I can call my best friend?”

“Yes, of course no problem, here.” I unlocked my phone and gave it to him. He dialed in a number and started speaking to his best friend. I turned away for a bit because I don’t really like listening to other people’s conversations. Then he came to me and handed my phone, he said

“Hey, can you tell him where we are so that he can come bring me back home?” he smiled warmly. I nodded and grabbed my phone.

\---on the phone---

“Hello?”

  
“Hi! How are you?” replied the voice from my phone.

“I’m good, thank you”

“Look, I am so sorry you had to deal with that. Are you ok?”

“Yes, don’t worry. Your friend and I are both fine. He is just a bit shaken up so I was planning on taking him to a Starbucks that is nearby and you can meet up with us there.”

“Wait, he mentioned that you’re on a bridge right? And if I am not mistaken, that bridge is near a college?”

“Yes, that’s the college I am going to.”

“Oh ok! I know exactly where you two are. It might take me awhile to get there since it is a bit far away from where I am but don’t worry, I’ll get there. Just keep him company in the meantime please?”

“Yes sure no problem, we will see you soon. Bye!”

“Bye!”

\---end of phone call---

“Alright, I just finished talking to your friend and he is on his way over here. So we can wait for him at the Starbucks over there, if you don’t mind?”

“Yea, sure.”

“Oh right I almost forgot, my name is Ivy. Ivy Hox. And yours?” I stretched out my hand for a handshake.

He stayed silent. He was clearly still a bit lost and dazed. I slowly put my hand down. “It’s fine if you don’t want to mention your name. I understand if you still don’t trust me. I would be too if I were you. So um… shall we go?”

He nodded and we silently walked together. Once, I go there I pulled the heavy door and we both entered Starbucks. The smell of coffee made me feel welcomed and at peace. I find a table for two near a window. I told him that we should sit there. He nodded and quietly followed me to the table.

“Would you like something to drink?” I asked as I stood up to get in line to order.

“A cup of coffee would be nice. Thank you.”

“Sure, no problem. Just stay here, I’ll be back.” I walked away and stood in line waiting to order. I watched him as I was waiting in line. He just stared at the window and watched the people pass by. Once I finished ordering I brought both cups to our table. I didn’t expect full on cups like at a dinner or restaurant. Back in New York, everything is portable. I haven’t been to a Starbucks that gives your order in cups when you want to stay inside. When I placed his coffee first on the table, he turned around and said “Thank you, I could have helped you with that.”

“No, it’s fine, don’t worry. I didn’t have any trouble with it.” I sat down and started to drink my second cup of coffee. The first one sadly got knocked over when I went to help him. I took a sip and he did as well. We sat there yet again in silence. If you think about it, I would be silent and awkward too. A stranger saves your life and then they invited you to a cup of coffee, and wants to strike up a conversation like if they were your friend. Who would trust a stranger after that?

“I know, I am a complete stranger who you have no idea of but I know the feeling; wanting to end it all.” I said breaking the silence as I looked down at my coffee and started to stir it with my spoon. From the corner of my eye, I saw him look towards me and no longer at the window.

“On those days, I stood exactly where I found you today. Looking at the city waiting for me to actually build the guts to jump. But I never did because I am a coward.” I scoffed. “I can’t handle pain or seeing others in pain. I’m too empathetic and that’s what stops me. I can’t picture my mother crying her eyes out if I died. I can’t deal with how my parents would try to tell my younger siblings that I died.” I look up and see him, his eyes were glossy.

“It’s those moments that I am thankful that I realized how much pain I would cause if I decided to end it all. Instead of ‘fixing’ the problem, I would create another one and leave many people in pain. I also realize how many things I’ll miss out on if I ever did jump. The sunsets. the smell of coffee, the crisp autumn weather, seeing a cat sitting on a window, the smell of pine, watching the clouds roll by… those things keep me going. Small things of course but they are all valid reasons to keep going.” I looked down and smiled. “I just remembered something someone I look up to highly said ‘To me the meaning of a human life is to be happy. It's to achieve happiness right now, it's to make sure you're happy in the future.’ and that’s what I try to follow.

He continued to stay silent. I lifted my head and he did as well. “Thank you.” he said softly. I responded with a warm smile.

\---------------------------------

_**Part 3 will be posted soon** _


End file.
